AAARGH
Taki's Top Drawer | March 7, 2001
Le Maître | Taki
One of the enduring images of the Clinton administration is the
picture of the Draft Dodger chatting with his brother-in-law,
Hugh Rodham, on a golf course. The latter is wearing shorts, his
enormous beer-belly hanging over his belt, a large cigar protruding
from his mouth. Talk about slob culture. Or slob ethics, for that
matter. Self-importance, crudeness, bossiness, the desire to improve
other people - these are the very qualities I loathe in others,
and which the Clintons and their gang of thieves display in such
grotesque plenitude. Instead of lording it over us for eight long
years, these clowns belong in a circus. Hillary looks like a knife-thrower's
assistant, shimmering in gold lamé, nostrils flaring in
pious concern, her protruding fish eyes hooded with empathy. Clinton
is perfect as a human cannonball. His ability to play things sorrowful
makes other hams who specialize in hired grief look like amateurs.
His mouth drawn and quivering, he would give one last wave and
enter the cannon's barrel. No other circus act could ever come
near such drama.
And what about Hugh Rodham? If ever there was a person who'd be
perfect as the one who runs after the elephants with a shovel
and pail, that's our Hugh. Roger Clinton, too, would be exemplary
as a clown, as would everyone related by blood or marriage to
the Clintons and Rodhams. The ideal bareback rider, naturally,
is bare Monica Lewinsky, although I don't know many ponies who
could lift such a load. Just think of it, circus fans. The Clinton-Rodham
circus comes into your town and things are never the same. Drug
dealers are let out of the pokey, fugitives are welcomed back
and given a ticker-tape parade, a few nurses are raped, the local
high school prom queen is hired and ends up blowing the human
cannonball... You get the message.
Last week I wrote about Marc Rich in The Spectator, the British
weekly in which my column has appeared for 24 years. I said that
the last time Rich had called off a party it was in Spain, about
five or six years ago. The feds had decided to force his private
plane down and bring him back to America to face the music. This
was widely reported at the time. Needless to say, they didn't
get their man. Rich was tipped off at the last moment and called
off the trip.
Now here's where I speculated. I wrote that his Mossad-trained
bodyguards had tipped him off, or the signal not to fly came from
Israel. It is no secret that top Israeli politicians, including
Ehud Barak, begged Clinton for the pardon. Well, as they say in
Brooklyn, or used to, I shoulda stood in bed. My own benevolent
proprietor, Conrad Black, went ballistic, so Orlando Furioso,
in fact, he wrote an article in The Spectator denouncing me as
a Goebbels and my article as a blood libel against the Jewish
people. "He wrote that the United States had intended to
invade French air space to force down fugitive financier Marc
Rich's aeroplane (on orders ultimately from the same commander
in chief who has now pardoned Rich); that Israeli intelligence
knew more of US Air Force activities than the Pentagon did and
shared this information with Rich because Israel's favour had
been bought by Rich. For Taki, the United States was not yet 'Israel-occupied
territory'; that is, occupied by those nice guys who attack rock-throwing
youth with armour-piercing missiles."
Given the fact that I did write this, and that I did go on to
say that the way to Uncle Sam,s heart runs through Tel Aviv, my
benevolent proprietor, as I always refer to him, did have a point.
The trouble was that he went over the top. OTT, as they say in
merry old England. Black called it a venomous diatribe, a farrago
of lies worthy of Goebbels "or the authors of Protocols of
the Elders of Zion." I will not bore you with the rest. He
accused me of claiming that the Jews have suborned the U.S. government,
that they direct the country's military like a docile attack dog
and glory in the murder of innocent children.
So, there was only one thing left to do, something so horrible
I'm still having nightmares. I quoted The New York Times, The
Washington Post and Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union
of American Hebrew Congregations. (All extremely anti-Semitic.)
"We have undermined our community's moral fabric, jeopardized
our political standing, disillusioned our youth and compromised
the sacred values of our tradition. In short, the moral stain
of this sordid affair has begun to engulf us," the rabbi
wrote.
Lets face it. In his unusually frank piece, Rabbi Yoffie says
Jewish leaders were bought by Marc Rich. I wrote, just as the
pardon became known, that Rich was an unusually successful briber
in these here pages. The fact that Israeli leaders allowed themselves
to be bribed is obvious. But pointing that out does not constitute
anti-Semitic ravings on my part. To the contrary. They did a disservice
to Israel, and when people who point this out are rubbished and
accused of anti-Semitism it makes it much worse as far as Israel
is concerned. Everyone looks out for their own, but Israelis have
to be extra careful. Israel enjoys a special relationship with
America because it's a democracy and because of the Holocaust.
Marc Rich is a crook who knows the value of nothing and the price
of everyone. Clinton is a political Marc Rich, and unscrupulous
Jews like Larry Lawrence took full advantage in reverse. Barak
was snookered. Conrad Black has been snookered by his love for
an embattled country.
The trouble is that I haven't. I have chosen to remain a Spectator
columnist because if you dish it out the way I do, you should
be able to take it. What I can't take is not seeing the human
cannonball, the knife-thrower's assistant, the clowns, the bareback
rider...
Extracted from <http://www.nypress.com/frame.cfm?author_id=7&site_id=1>
Displayed on aaargh: 8 April 2001.
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