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Conrad Black Attack




Taki's Top Drawer | March 7, 2001

Le Maître | Taki

One of the enduring images of the Clinton administration is the picture of the Draft Dodger chatting with his brother-in-law, Hugh Rodham, on a golf course. The latter is wearing shorts, his enormous beer-belly hanging over his belt, a large cigar protruding from his mouth. Talk about slob culture. Or slob ethics, for that matter. Self-importance, crudeness, bossiness, the desire to improve other people - these are the very qualities I loathe in others, and which the Clintons and their gang of thieves display in such grotesque plenitude. Instead of lording it over us for eight long years, these clowns belong in a circus. Hillary looks like a knife-thrower's assistant, shimmering in gold lamé, nostrils flaring in pious concern, her protruding fish eyes hooded with empathy. Clinton is perfect as a human cannonball. His ability to play things sorrowful makes other hams who specialize in hired grief look like amateurs. His mouth drawn and quivering, he would give one last wave and enter the cannon's barrel. No other circus act could ever come near such drama.
And what about Hugh Rodham? If ever there was a person who'd be perfect as the one who runs after the elephants with a shovel and pail, that's our Hugh. Roger Clinton, too, would be exemplary as a clown, as would everyone related by blood or marriage to the Clintons and Rodhams. The ideal bareback rider, naturally, is bare Monica Lewinsky, although I don't know many ponies who could lift such a load. Just think of it, circus fans. The Clinton-Rodham circus comes into your town and things are never the same. Drug dealers are let out of the pokey, fugitives are welcomed back and given a ticker-tape parade, a few nurses are raped, the local high school prom queen is hired and ends up blowing the human cannonball... You get the message.
Last week I wrote about Marc Rich in The Spectator, the British weekly in which my column has appeared for 24 years. I said that the last time Rich had called off a party it was in Spain, about five or six years ago. The feds had decided to force his private plane down and bring him back to America to face the music. This was widely reported at the time. Needless to say, they didn't get their man. Rich was tipped off at the last moment and called off the trip.
Now here's where I speculated. I wrote that his Mossad-trained bodyguards had tipped him off, or the signal not to fly came from Israel. It is no secret that top Israeli politicians, including Ehud Barak, begged Clinton for the pardon. Well, as they say in Brooklyn, or used to, I shoulda stood in bed. My own benevolent proprietor, Conrad Black, went ballistic, so Orlando Furioso, in fact, he wrote an article in The Spectator denouncing me as a Goebbels and my article as a blood libel against the Jewish people. "He wrote that the United States had intended to invade French air space to force down fugitive financier Marc Rich's aeroplane (on orders ultimately from the same commander in chief who has now pardoned Rich); that Israeli intelligence knew more of US Air Force activities than the Pentagon did and shared this information with Rich because Israel's favour had been bought by Rich. For Taki, the United States was not yet 'Israel-occupied territory'; that is, occupied by those nice guys who attack rock-throwing youth with armour-piercing missiles."
Given the fact that I did write this, and that I did go on to say that the way to Uncle Sam,s heart runs through Tel Aviv, my benevolent proprietor, as I always refer to him, did have a point. The trouble was that he went over the top. OTT, as they say in merry old England. Black called it a venomous diatribe, a farrago of lies worthy of Goebbels "or the authors of Protocols of the Elders of Zion." I will not bore you with the rest. He accused me of claiming that the Jews have suborned the U.S. government, that they direct the country's military like a docile attack dog and glory in the murder of innocent children.
So, there was only one thing left to do, something so horrible I'm still having nightmares. I quoted The New York Times, The Washington Post and Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations. (All extremely anti-Semitic.) "We have undermined our community's moral fabric, jeopardized our political standing, disillusioned our youth and compromised the sacred values of our tradition. In short, the moral stain of this sordid affair has begun to engulf us," the rabbi wrote.
Lets face it. In his unusually frank piece, Rabbi Yoffie says Jewish leaders were bought by Marc Rich. I wrote, just as the pardon became known, that Rich was an unusually successful briber in these here pages. The fact that Israeli leaders allowed themselves to be bribed is obvious. But pointing that out does not constitute anti-Semitic ravings on my part. To the contrary. They did a disservice to Israel, and when people who point this out are rubbished and accused of anti-Semitism it makes it much worse as far as Israel is concerned. Everyone looks out for their own, but Israelis have to be extra careful. Israel enjoys a special relationship with America because it's a democracy and because of the Holocaust. Marc Rich is a crook who knows the value of nothing and the price of everyone. Clinton is a political Marc Rich, and unscrupulous Jews like Larry Lawrence took full advantage in reverse. Barak was snookered. Conrad Black has been snookered by his love for an embattled country.
The trouble is that I haven't. I have chosen to remain a Spectator columnist because if you dish it out the way I do, you should be able to take it. What I can't take is not seeing the human cannonball, the knife-thrower's assistant, the clowns, the bareback rider...

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